Recently, a Facebook friend made their cover photo a pink image with the word ‘Queen’ written on it. This person is the embodiment of why I believe calling people queen is a flawed way of complimenting people. He is self-absorbed, entitled, immature and irresponsible. He is constantly validated by the people closest to him and this has been to the detriment of his growing process. He does not seem to think there is something wrong with him.
According to Bustle, calling people queen – often following the millennial cheer of ‘yaaaass’ – is a form of “celebrating another human being”. I think uplifting and supporting other people is incredibly important. We live in a world that profits off of low self-esteem and comparison, and it is important to have positive support and acceptance from other people. Considering that women seem to feel that they are constantly competing with another, it is incredibly refreshing to see women praising each other.
But, while we are celebrating how good we can be, it is important to self-reflect and notice our flaws. I think personal growth should be a priority, and I believe this can only be done with honest self-critique. This movement of referring to people as queen appears to be crippling our willingness to look within ourselves and take responsibility for the ways in which we go wrong.
Queen Bey. Queen Adele. Queen Zendaya. Queen Selena. Certain celebrities are placed on pedestals and called queen. Idolising people and calling them queen tend to go hand-in-hand. The problem with idolising another human being is that you completely strip the humanity away from them. These ‘queens’ are actually three dimensional people. They are not always right and their behaviour is not always progressive.
The thing is, in the olden days, royalty was considered to be chosen by God. Deities, in a sense. To challenge the kings and queens, you were challenging God. Obviously, challenging God was outrageous. It just was not done. But the royal members of society actually messed up a lot, but were never called out on it. Because they were never called out for their mistakes, they were never challenged to rectify their ruling. In the end, it was everyone else that suffered.
When someone is constantly hearing that they are queen, their ego inevitably balloons. I am not talking about an increase in self-esteem here, I am talking about low-key narcissism. They expect to be treated a certain way, and this treatment does not include critique. They confuse critique with irrational hate, and that is not necessarily the case. When they cannot see the possibility of negative consequences of their thoughts, words and behaviours, the people around them suffer.
Following someone blindly does not do anyone a favour. We should give people credit where it is due, but not forget that they are not immune from flawed behaviour. Calling people – whether they are friends or esteemed celebrities – queen needs to come to an end. We need to be responsible for and transparent about how human we are.
[Header image source: etsy.com]